The importance of these movies stems from the all too evident need to remind society that not only are we here, but that we have been aware since a tender age. That awareness brings with it a great deal of pain and disruption when we are not able to identify and express ourselves as our heterosexual peers may. Given the horrific statistics surrounding the experiences of gay teens (see article titled GLSEN Graduation Party), the reality of these movies being shown is remarkable. Here's an idea as to why.

Get Real, an import from England, tells of Steven Carter (Ben Silverstone), an outcast in school whose only real friend is the wonderfully understanding and encouraging gal pal (played by Charlotte Brittain), who is not confused about his sexuality at all. In fact, he even visits the toilets in the park to rendezvous for sex, until one day he happens to anonymously make such an arrangement with the big man on campus John (Brad Gorton), who is presumed to be rather heterosexual, though adored and fantasized about by Carter. A relationship begins, though kept secret, whereby John is an emotional wreck finding solace in Steven's arms, explores sex with Steven, and actually enjoys a romantic weekend at John's house while his parents are away for the weekend. This fairy tale is marred by the unfortunate stress that John feels by having to play the super hetero/athlete/man's man, even to the point of having to assault Steven when John's friends find Steven sobbing into one of John's gym shirts, and after bashing Steven, they turn him over to John who continues the abuse. Of course, John expresses sadness about this at the film's end, stating that he only wanted to hold Steven and make it all better as he was kicking him in that scene.Rather chilling.

The title of the movie comes from the article that Steven writes as a "I wish I could submit this instead" of the article that he does write in a competition for the local newspaper. He does anonymously submit the article titled "Get Real" about being gay and in high school, to his school newspaper. The school administration bars the publication of the article based upon the controversial topic. Very Bri, indeed. However, the student's publish a blank page with the word "censored" across it, in protest. However, at a school assembly, with all parents in the audience, Steven comes out and admits to writing the article. His mother is supportive and his father remains in limbo at the end of the movie. The discussion between John and Steven after this is that they are aware of the impact that his having come out will have, and that the relationship must end because of the reputation that John depends upon for future academic career pursuits.

The place that this movie has in our field, is that it does not sugar coat the reality of coming out while coming of age. Though this movie captures every Bri nuance in this discussion, it is still pertinent to our experiences in America; youth is closeted to most, experiences physical abuse at hands of homophobic peers, falls in love with someone whom they cannot go public with, meets school administrative distaste, comes out to  parents, and is faced with a future of being out to his peers. Sound familiar? The importance of this film to those of us who are psychotherapists is that it is great for assigning as homework (due out on video in November) to those parents, teachers, and kids we may meet who are questioning or are aware of their sexuality but don't know how or when to come out. This is fabulous discussion material and relevant to addressing the real fears that face our gay and lesbian youth.

Set in 1984, Edge of Seventeen truly captures the sense of facing the fact that everybody was finally starting to admit that the seventies were over and it beautifully collects the awkwardness of being sixteen going on seventeen (unlike that which is seen between Liesl and Rolf in Sound of Music).Eric (Chris Stafford), our wonderfully neurotic character is taking on a summer job at a local amusement park, in Sandusky, Ohio. With Angie (Lea Delaria as his boss, who describes their jobs as food servers ("grubbers"), as being one peg above janitors, we see a time developing when make or break is the coda diem.

As every good gay film should have, there is the girl in the wings who is the best friend, though in this case she will be used to try and convince himself that Eric really is not gay. This fails as fast as it is tried, and the friendship that turned romance that turned friendship turned romance again is broken. Eric knows that he is attracted to the rather out Rob (Anderson Gabrych), with all the clumsiness that having such an attraction when the object of the attraction is around. Rob reciprocates such feelings though Eric remains closeted throughout the summer, until on the night before Rob returns to college to study hotel management, there is a physical interaction which is mutually participated in, rather than the easily excused one night soap opera that could have happened. Of course, great fondness for Eric does resume his relationship with his former boyfriend, Dan (whom we never meet).

From that point on we see Eric develop into the eye makeup wearing, Bronski Beat listening, exploring media related to gayness teenager. He finds his former boss, Angie, in her own gay bar, with drag queens and circuit boys (before they were called that). He befriends this little tribe, using Maggie as a cover to visit the club every night, even having a little physical encounter with a stranger, in the parking lot.  In this encounter, the man Eric makes with just wanted sex, though Eric responds from the protocol that something like this means relationship development. Shock sets in when he realizes otherwise. Calling Rob, he recounts the sordid details only to find out that Rob and Dan are back together, and that he should not call again. Such a break in the relationship devastates Eric and pushes him back into the closet, cutting off the friendship he made at the club, and tries to heterosexualize his life.

When Eric does get caught by his mother, after seeking out Rob and having his first sexual experience with him, returns one morning to his mother's questioning and suspicion that he may be gay. After spending a full day's wandering, he returns to recant the flat out denial he made that morning, and comes out to his mother, who is less than enthused to hear the news. Eric does restart his relationships with those at the bar owned by Angie, though the outcome of the relationship with his mother (family still not told by movie's end), Maggie, and Rob is still not even near resolution.

The difference between this movie and Get Real is that Edge of Seventeen obviously tried to tell the story of the awkwardness of being a teenager, the excesses of the early eighties, and what the process of coming out to oneself may look like, especially when there is a great deal of internalized homophobia to begin with. In Get Real, Steven already knew he was gay, and was comfortable in that, whereas Eric was exploring this question, and travels through rather rocky terrain getting to the answer. Also, Edge tends to try to shock the audience with the over used sex scenes, which detracted from the story just as the story was getting good.

The relevance of this movie for our practice is that it helps to assuage the fears of the role that sex and first relationships have in coming out as a teenager. This movie answers the "what about me" section of the gay youth who are frightened by the prospect of telling their family whom they love so much. even though it is not a pretty picture in the end, it can still provide discussion material for how to manage outcomes, and how to present the coming out.

The sexual component that comes along with sexual identification, for most teenagers, is definitely a highlight of this film. The discussion of how vulnerable Eric was to a trick in the parking lot provides a number of issues such as safety, date rape, gay bashers posing as possible sex partners, what to expect when going to bars, and how to take care of oneself when they are in such situations. Also, there is the possibility that sex doesn't have to be a part of the process as immediately as Eric's case indicates, and how that does not hinder the process, nor is it required. However, if it is a part of the process, how that ties into the discussion should be considered.

The movies that we have reviewed here are excellent for providing a peek into the coming out process for those of us who work with gay and lesbian youth, especially in the issue of coming out and identification exploration. It is sometimes difficult to think of movies as being a part of our work, and harder still to convey to our clients what we are using the films for.  I think that these films speak more clearly  and directly to these experiences, and will be most useful to those adolescents we are committed to serving. Nevertheless, as discussions continue and they will definitely become more heated, it is important for us to be aware of those media which can help us be more accessible and effective in our work with those teenagers who are seeking some answers as to whether or not anybody can ever understand their story. The answer is that we can, and that movies such as these can help to dispel some of the fears, especially the fear of being so different that nobody cares to hear us.

Another movie which may just pass by our notice is Adam Sandler's latest venture, Big Daddy. Don't get too excited, it's not THAT other Big Daddy. He incorporates a very realistic and positive gay role with two of his best friends from law school. Yes, there is a kissing scene. The consistent use of these characters throughout, even one of them calling his father to tell him that he loved him, and the commitment that they share is a wonderful cross over into the larger media of movies. I was rather proud to see this, and I am sure that you will be, too. Besides, it's a great movie and funnier than Water Boy.

Keep watching.